The Ocho: the ineffectiveness of pick-up lines

A few years ago, I once heard a guy at a party use the pick-up line, “Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? I want your butt in my mouth.” I laughed at it, but it got the other guy a slap in the face by his potential hook-up.

Pick-up lines don’t work. What I mean to say is that I’ve never actually seen one pulled off successfully. This past week, I tried to break that trend.

A few days ago, I was at work when a friend of mine jokingly told me I had dropped a slip of paper. I picked it up and it had the message “I think you’re cute.” It also had her phone number even though I already had her number (which she knew). I thought it was a perfect idea and decided to give it a try.

I roamed downtown and all over campus attempting to use this line. Most women would read the paper, give a chuckle, walk about a block and then throw it away.

For the other people I didn’t see throw away the paper, I still am waiting for their phone call. However, I don’t expect a call anytime soon.

From experience, I’ve noticed that all pick up lines generally get the same responses as the one’s I’ve gotten and also the same response that my unfortunate friend received at the party. They just don’t work.

What does work is conversation, from what I’ve seen. If you can talk about something interesting for a decent amount of time and pretend like you know what you’re talking about, then maybe some good will come out of it.

Unfortunately, the reason why pick-up lines aren’t as effective as most men want them to be is because while some of them might get some sort of weird conversation started, most women think you’re awkward.

I’m trying not to give away any more information than this so that the idea isn’t jeopardized and someone might realize that I am not being real.

Once again, if you have any ideas for me to try out, however crazy they might be, please either email me or comment on the story and I’ll definitely give it a shot!

August Walsh can be reached at
awalsh@theorion.com

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